Getting there...

I am not what I ought to be, I am not what I want to be, I am not what I hope to be in another world; but still I am not what I once used to be, and by the grace of God he's still molding me to what his plans are for my life.

Song of the Day: Beautiful Lord by Leeland

My amazing beloveds hold tight to our Beautiful Lord, because the enemy is always on our heels to take us back to what we were. Hold on to His promise for peace, protection, and guidance. Don't let the enemy destroy what took our wonderful Father so long to create. I love you all.

Everybody's Amazing...Nobody's Happy

Hello my beloveds...check out this link! It wouldn't let me upload it. What he's saying is SO TRUE. If we just calm down and sit back from time to time, it's amazing how much God has blessed us. Enjoy a giggle...

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LoGYx35ypus

Time Square Coat..

To anyone who knows a German, you should be laughing your butt off...lol

Cardboard Testimony...

A great reminder of the amazing grace of our Savior. We all have wonderful stories of His personal love for us.

What would you write on your cardboard testimony?

Metro Adventures...

Life on the metro in DC is always entertaining. I mean, it's no New York's dirty subway by any means but we like to keep up with the crazies from time to time. I have witnessed guys hitting on girls (a few times it's been me), people singing at the top of their lungs for attention, and once a man passed out in a packed train car. It's all a part of the overall quirkiness of the metro.

Yesterday, I ran to the train like any other day, but OH NO there were alot of people on the platform. Bad sign...this usually means DELAY. CRAP...I left home 15 minutes early today too. Whatev...at least I have a book and my ipod. I jumped on the train where I always get a seat and sadly I have to stand. It was already crazy packed. So, as I walked to the middle of the aisle I notice a very 'stocky' woman taking up two seats with herself AND her huge bag. Now, to all the non-metro riders THIS IS A NO NO! When it is packed you NEVER take up two seats and if you have a rather big booty don't you think you SHOULD be standing? It's just so rude. Anywho, the SLOW ride begins and a very cute old Asian man is sitting in one of the seats in front of me. Well, I'm listening to my music not paying attention to him and I feel something on my hip. When it's crowded people are always touching you, so I didn't jump. I looked down and that little old man had fallin' asleep and leaned into my hip. So, here I am trying not to laugh but there is this old guy using my hip as a pillow. So, because I was in a funny mood I quickly took his pillow away and he head fell. lol Don't worry he didn't fall out of his seat but he woke up real fast. lol I think he thought someone hit him. lol

Meantime, we're now stuck in a tunnel NOT MOVING for 30 minutes. We have old guy's head bobbing for a pillow again, antsy girl next to me making me nervous, my friend Jeff trapped at the other end of car looking annoyed, and 'stocky' woman STILL taking up two seats. Well, antsy girl finally had enough because she MADE 'stocky' woman move her bag so her tiny little self could put her makeup on. 'Stocky' woman was very huffy about having to share her seat, but I was annoyed I had to stare at her bad dye job for the last 45 minutes. I mean COME ON...why do I pay metro so much money for them to have issues EVERY DAY?!?! They constantly raise prices for their crappy service and we can't do anything about it. It's proof DC is becoming fascist. The metro is our own little version of Hitler's Nazi regime, instead of saluting an old guy with bad facial hair, we hide our beverages (not permitted) swipe our little metro card and pray our train doesn't derail. BTW: That's why we had a 40 minute delay, because not one BUT TWO trains derailed on the orange line.

So, I finally get to work safe and sound. Of course I had NO IDEA the joy the ride home was going to be. It took me two hours to get home last night with our wonderful metro system. Luckily, I got a seat this time. Unfortunately, it was with a 'stocky' man. Needless to say, I risked life & death AND DROVE today....

My LIFE...

I'm SO Excited...

Tomorrow I'm OFF..to visit my boo aka Jamar in CO. I'm so excited to just hang out with my friend, who I miss more then anything in DC. That boy has got plans and I'm ready for the ride! Hopefully this Valentine's Day will be good to me because I get to hang with some friends I LOVE with all my heart. I'm also going to see my friend Hollywood from Liberty. I haven't seen him in 5 years. Man, time just flies doesn't it?!?

Anywho, I'm sure I'll be back with great exciting adventures to tell. BTW: Just found out this past weekend...I LOVE Hiking!! We climbed up this rock cliff..I was so proud of myself. It was so much fun! I can't believe I waited so long to do it! I'm the kinda girl that loves adventure, but I sorta need to be talked into them! Oh well, it always makes for a good story. :-)

He's JUST NOT that INTO you...

My HEART is overjoyed with the opening day of the movie 'He's Just NOT that into you'. I LOVED this book. It's sad but empowering at the same time. A book written by a man telling us women how much we're worth. He says over and over what we really deserve. So STOP making excuses for bad behavior ladies and walk away with your head held high, because you're worth finding someone who REALLY is INTO you. Here's a few of my favorite quotes from the book.

Cut your losses and don't waste your time . Why stay in some weird dating limbo when you can move on to what will surely be better territory? Don't want to hear it? Fine. Here's the answer you're looking for, "Hang in there, baby. He's not the loser everybody's telling you he is. If you wait and keep your mouth shut and call at exactly the right time and anticipate his moods and have no expectations about communication or your own needs, you can have him!" But please don't be surprised if he dumps you or continues to drag you through a completely unsatisfying relationship.

He is a man made up entirely of your excuses. And the minute you stop making excuses for him, he will completely disappear from your life.

Don't let the "honeys" and the "babies" fool you. His sweet nothings are exactly that. They are much easier to say than "I'm just not that into you." Remember, actions speak louder than, "There's no cell reception where I am right now."

Calling when you say you're going to call is the very first brick in the house you are building of love and trust. If he can't lay this one stupid brick down, you ain't never gonna have a house, baby. And it's cold outside.

He will always be able to play the "friend" card on you. He only has to be responsible for the expectations of a friend, rather than the the far greater expectations of a boyfriend. He's got the ultimate situation: a great friend with all the benefits of a girlfriend, whom he can see or not see whenever he wants to. He may be one of your closest friends, but I'm sorry to say ... as a boyfriend, he's just not that into you.

Beware of the word "friend". It can often be used by men or the women that love them to excuse the most unfriendly behavior. Personally, when I'm picking friends, I like the ones who don't make me cry myself to sleep.

Everyone wants to be loved and needed, particularly by the person who just broke up with us. I understand. What could be better than hearing from the man who just told you he didn't want you in his life anymore ... his sad, wistful, "I miss you so much" voice on the other end of the phone? It's validating. It's exciting. It's irresistible. But resist you must.

A man who wants to make a relationship work will move mountains to keep the woman he loves. If he's not calling you to tell you he loves you and wants you back, it should only be because he's showing up at your new residence to do it in person ... if he's not doing any of that, he may love you, he may miss you, but ultimately he's just not that into you. Stop taking his calls and let him know what it's like to live without you.

Don't be flattered that he misses you. He should miss you. You're deeply missable. However, he's still the same person who just broke up with you. Remember, the only reason he can miss you is because he's choosing, every day, not to be with you.

It's very tempting when you really want to be with someone to settle for much, much less -- even a vague pathetic facsimile of less -- than you would have ever imagined. Remember always what you set out to get and please don't settle for less. These guys exist because there are a lot of women out there who allow them to.

He's sniffing for something better, and when he doesn't find it, he gets lonely and comes "home." It's not that he's so into you. It's that he's so not into being alone. Don't give him the chance to break up with you for the fourth time. (Even the idea of it sounds beneath you, doesn't it?) Reset your breakup maximum to one and move on.

Deciding to get back together with someone is a complicated and difficult decision. Just remember that the person you are getting back together with is the same person who, not long before, looked you in your beautiful face, took full stock of you and all your qualities, and told you that he was no longer in need of your company.

Don't confuse being classy with being a doormat. Classy is walking away with your head held high, graciously, and with all dignity. Being a doormat is offering to drive him to the dentist for his root canal.

He doesn't need to be reminded that you're great.

There's a guy out there who's going to be really happy that you didn't get back together with your crappy ex-boyfriend.

The reason it's so painful when someone disappears is you have to face the fact that the person you loved had probably left you a long time before he grabbed his coat and scrammed. The hardest part is realizing that he was lying to you, in some way, before the moment of vanishing.

Don't give him the chance to reject you again.

Being lonely ... being alone ... for many people ... sucks. I get it, I get it, I get it. But still I have to say that yes, my belief is that being with somebody who makes you feel crappy or doesn't honor the person you are is worse.

Life is hard enough as it is without choosing someone difficult to share it with.

You deserve to be with someone who is nice to you all the time.

The song dedicated to this post is STRONGER by Britney Spears!! :-)

Time Issues..

Time is a crazy thing. It has been two weeks since my past post. I would like to say that the time has gone by fast, but the truth is it's been painfully slow. Every day I have been debating on what my new post would say and I keep changing it. Do I want to talk about my life in the past month? ummm...NO Do I want to talk about some random dude on the metro hitting on me? ummm..NO..maybe next time. You see I just haven't felt like talking. I've been thinking..and thinking alot. Not only have I been thinking, but watching. Watching the relationships around me. I've always been someone who tries to learn from my mistakes and from the mistakes of others. So...I've been watching things around me and my heart is sick.

In the last few months I have really started to notice the broken relationships around me, probably because they reminded me of something I was going through. But I really feel God revealed some truths to me. It's funny because the one thing that has been so frustrating for me in watching these broken relationships has been the issue of time. The reason it's funny is because at Frontline they're doing a dating series and the last point he made in his message was regarding taking the TIME to grow a Christ centered relationship. These broken relationships around me ALL could of been diverted if they had taken the time to grow together in Christ. It's so easy for us to let our emotions run away with us, isn't it?! It's so easy for us to assume God has given us these feelings. BTW: God doesn't give us feelings that's another subject for another time. Anywho, just think with me for a second, what if it isn't God?! What if we're being deceived by our own loneliness or the enemy? What if we're so wrapped up in our own emotions that we can't hear God's truth?

Our Father is amazing and He gives us all Free Will. One thing that has stuck out to me upon hearing these stories of broken relationships has been this question being asked...Why has God allowed this to happen to me? The truth is, which of course nobody wants to hear is He gives us Free Will and it's up to us to listen to Him or ourselves. The deceiver sometimes confuses us in that regard. God won't always stand in our way of making a HUGE mistake..as any good Father He'll allow us to make our OWN decisions and fall, so HE can teach us how to pick ourselves up. You know Todd at Frontline has said multiple times to be careful in our understanding of God, because sometimes we know JUST ENOUGH to make ourselves dangerous. We get proud and arrogant in our understanding. That's the moment the great deceiver can come in and destroy everything you've been working for. In these relationships I've seen..some have been married couples, others have been dating, but ALL were deceived. They allowed their emotions to rush them into unhealthy attachments which fogged the red flags until it was too late and now we're dealing with broken individuals desperate to understand how it happened. It happened because they didn't allow the emotions to calm down before they made life altering decisions. The heart is deceitful, which is why it's so important to hold God's truth in our actions. Love is patient. You know you never hear of people regretting going slow in a relationship, but you always hear of the regrets for going too fast. Love IS NOT an emotion, Love IS an ACTION. The act of giving yourself 100% for someone else without receiving anything in return. Christ on the cross, THAT is LOVE! Warm feelings, good intentions and butterflies in the stomach are not..

So, my advice to my girl friends who are thinking of settling on a guy because you're tired of waiting..Love is Patient. To my guy friends who are so wrapped up in their physical needs they're fogged from the red flags...Love is Patient. To my broken friends who feel like their falling into a bottomless pit desperate for a miracle...Love is Patient. Until we look outside of our wants and learn how to love unselfishly like Christ we're going to continue to be deceived. Our whole world revolves around Time. Every second of every day is scheduled for us. We are a generation of micro managers who want to plan everything out, so we can check it off the list. But if we focus on God's word instead of the craziness around us, He will bring things together in His own time and He's all about His children being patient for His Will. He wants us to stop listening to our emotions and start listening to Him..maybe they'll be the same or maybe you'll be lucky enough to hear a wake up call before it's too late. My emotions have lied, deceived, and hurt me, but my Father is teaching me how to get back up. Just as Peter took his eyes off the Lord and started sinking in the Galilee, it only took a cry for help before our Lord picked him up again. It's a burden on my heart today that my generation refocuses on Him...

"Be patient, then, brothers, until the Lord's coming. See how the farmer waits for the land to yield it's valuable crop and how patient he is for the autumn and spring rains. You too, be patient and stand firm, because the Lord's coming is near." James 5:7-8