Hello Seattle...

You know maybe it's the song, but I would really like to go to Seattle. :-) Either way this song makes me smile from ear to ear. I can't wait to see Owl City again in April.

Begin Again...

To any girl who has survived a broken heart, you'll love this song. The deepest wish even for the most jaded among us is to be proven wrong in the area of Love and this song talks about just that. Heartbreaking relationships can leave you hurt, guarded and without hope....but every now & then someone comes along to heal the damage left by others...he's called a White Knight. :-) Here's hoping we all meet our Knights, because we're worth it. 

A Final Goodbye...

Me, my Grandma, my Mom, cheesy smile sister, & my aunt Linda

It's sad how time can go so fast and I had a painful reminder of that this past weekend. While in Tampa for my friends wedding I received some very sad news, my grandmother passed away. My grandma passing is what I like to call a painful blessing. You see she has been suffering from Alzheimer's and for the last three years she hasn't remembered who I was. I wrote a post a few years ago called 'The Long Goodbye', so I thought it was only appropriate that I write about my final goodbye.

I hate crying...if someone can be bad at crying, then that's me. I hate it, so much so that when I cry I always feel sick for a few days. It takes so much energy out of me, because I have this overwhelming need to be strong all the time and when I give into the emotion I feel weak. One of my favorite songs is 'Smile' by Charlie Chaplin. 'Smile, though your heart is aching, Smile, even though it’s breaking, When there are clouds in the sky you’ll get by'...and so on. So, to hear my grandma passed away two hours before my friends wedding kinda knocked me on my butt. I just kept thinking..'Smile Melinda, deep breathes...don't think about Grandma, this is a happy day no tears.' My throat killed because the knot in it hurt so bad. But it was a happy day for many reasons, 1. my friends were getting married such a happy event and 2. because my grandma wasn't in pain anymore. The overwhelming relief of her suffering being over was beyond unbearable. She's now with my grandfather in Heaven, the love of her life. The man she spent 57 years with...but those happy thoughts couldn't undo a broken heart.

Me & my Grandma (I think my lips are still that size)

                              
To be accurate, my hearts been breaking for three years every time I thought of my grandmother and now it's time for that heart to heal. I don't want to go through the sadness of the funeral with you or talk about my grandmother in that nursing home not knowing who she was or who we were. I want to honor my grandma's memory by remembering her for the person she was. The person I will never forget. I remember so many things....

This pic cracks me up...

I remember how warm and soft she was when I would cuddle next to her as a little girl and fall asleep.
I remember how she would let me help her make homemade biscuits.
I remember how she loved surprises.
I remember when I knew my grandparents were coming to visit, I would watch out my window for hours until I saw their car turn the corner, then run as fast as I could to greet them.
I remember her love for country music, afterall she was a country girl.
I remember her protecting me from being bullied from the other grandkids.
I remember how she would always talk during my favorite TV show. (man, I hated that. lol)
I remember how she wasn't afraid of anything especially dog's who were giving her attitude & 'talking back to her'. lol
I remember walking into the small farmhouse in TN after working at my internship in Nashville and seeing my grandparents asleep on the couch with my grandma's head laying in my papaw's lap. Such a sweet memory...
I remember having my arms around my heartbroken grandma while I told her how much I loved her over the casket of my grandfather, then making her smile when I cracked a joke about how much Papaw would of hated the fuss.
I remember the last real conversation I had with my Grandma before I lost her to the disease. She pulled me aside with tears falling down her cheeks told me she didn't want me to be alone. She told me I needed to find a man who would love me like my grandfather loved her for 57 years. I told her men like Papaw don't seem to exist anymore. She told me she hoped at least a few were still around, because I was beautiful and deserved to be loved like that. She told me to stop being so hard on men, because I had to let somebody in.

Opening presents Christmas morning with Grandma

I remember so many other things about my grandma, but there isn't enough time in the world to explain how lucky I was to have her in my life. She was so tough and that woman loved her family more than anything. I pray my grandma's wish for me does come true, I'll find a man like my papaw someday, but it saddens me he'll never know how wonderful my grandparents were. I can't help but think if a special guy comes walking into my life it had to be from a little push from my grandma above.

My Grandparents having their 50th Anniversary portrait taken. Papaw couldn't wait to get that tie off.

I find such overwhelming peace knowing that my final goodbye isn't really final at all. I'll see my grandparents again. They'll meet me together at Heaven's gate. I look forward to that day, but until than I'll cherish the memories of the world's best grandparents. I am a very blessed girl and having them for grandparents is just more proof of how much God loves me. Things of this world will fall into dust, but someone's legacy of Love will always remain for those left behind to carry it on and carry it on we will.

I'm in Love...

I can't tell you how much I'm IN LOVE with Owl City's new album. It's impossible for me to be sad when I'm listening to Adam Young's new creation. His talent is just overflowing and the melody is so uplifting. It's like his music is the soundtrack to my dreams. I know that sounds kinda weird, but for someone who has always been a daydreamer it's completely natural. I have a constant music loop going in my head at all times, even when I'm sleeping. It's distracting from time to time, and puts me in my own little world. I love that world. A world full of music, art, color, love, and only the best of intentions. Yes, Adam Young has to be my musical soulmate. He obviously has a world similar to mine. A world most of us leave behind as children, but a chosen few refuse to let go...the innocence to dream. Below are four new songs from Owl City. I hope you love them as much as I do, and that they remind you of your own imaginary world. You're never too old to start dreaming.

The Story....

I love listening to stories of adventure, heartbreak, and love from the people God has put in my life. We can all learn so much about each other if we just stop and listen from time to time. I hope you enjoy one of my favorite songs.

Safe & Sound...

I'm a big fan of The Civil Wars and their mark is all over this new Taylor Swift song. I just love the words of this song..a lullaby that slows you down.

Just close your eyes
The sun is going down
You'll be alright
No one can hurt you now
Come morning light
You and I'll be safe & sound...

So, if you're having a hard day or two, I recommend cuddling up on your couch with some hot tea and listen to a song that will calm your soul. Enjoy...

A Dog and His Bone...

I never knew my dog jumping to get his bone could make me so happy until last night. I few days before Christmas my sweet dog, Chewy got really sick. I came home from work and he was crying and shaking at the door of my bedroom. Of course, I realized right away something was very wrong and rushed him to our vet who luckily was open late into the night. After days of tests and drugs sedating my poor pup, we found out that Chewy had a kidney infection and a very bad mouth infection. My little guy had to go into surgery to have 6 teeth removed while being put on three different antibiotics. Let's just say during Christmas he was very tired and slept a lot, mostly on me. He was my pill poppin' poodle for 2 weeks, at 6 pills a day. I was a very worried Momma, but each day Chewy got a little better and now he's back to his silly crazy ways..ie, racing me up the stairs, jumping like a maniac for his bones, and scaling up on my tall bed with his stuffed monkey (he likes to sleep with). It makes my heart so happy that he's doing better, because I know for a fact I'm not ready to lose my best friend. :-)