My happy place...

As a little girl, I was always in a world of my own. I liked going back to my room and playing with my toys all by myself. My imaginary world was whatever I wanted it to be. A bright colorful place where anything and everything was possible. I always thought at some point I would grow out of my daydreams, but I never did. I may not daydream as much as I did as a child, but I still get caught up in my imagination everyday. When I'm becoming overwhelmed by life I just grab my ipod and go to my happy place. I have two different happy places I go depending on the mood, both involve a whole lot of music.

I put my ear buds in and the first place I imagine comes into view..I'm driving in a classic red convertible along the California coastline blaring a daydreaming medley like the one below. I really think Adam Young (aka Owl City) could be my daydreaming soul mate. He has an amazing way of describing my imaginations perfectly.


I put my ear buds in again and my second place is coming into view. I'm sitting on the beach as the sunsets, listening to the waves and slowing watching the stars come out one by one. Its in those moments I realize how much God truly loves me. He gave us such a beautiful world to enjoy. Its like with the sound of every wave I hear...'Now, do you realize how much I love you?'. But unlike my joyride, this time I'm not alone. I'm sitting next to someone who's faceless but I know who loves me, arms leaked in complete silence we listen to the waves while gazing at the stars. As I lean against him, arms entwined I suddenly hear in the background the below song...hey, it's my happy place so random music can start playing if I want. After all, it wouldn't be my place happy without it. :-)

WHAT? Did you think it was going to be a cheesy romantic song? No, remember this is my peaceful calm happy place. There is nothing more comforting then sitting with someone in complete silence and it not be awkward. Those kind of peaceful moments are priceless.....so I hope I never grow out of daydreaming. Its a way to get outside of your head and regroup for the realities of life. The real world can be a harsh place to deal with, but imagination coupled with amazing music can make it bearable. Reality is a lovely place, but I wouldn't want to live there. :-)

All About Us....

After the last blog post I wanted to post something a little more light hearted. So…what’s more light hearted then falling in love? Love scares me. Actually, it terrifies me. Letting someone close takes a lot of trust and that’s something I have struggled with pretty much my whole life. Trusting someone to take care of me, protect me, love me….in my mind that’s a fairytale. Fairytales don’t exist, or do they?! Now…I know most girls are victims of their own romantic ideals, but what’s wrong with hoping for the fairytale?! What’s wrong with wanting the butterflies? I’m a realistic girl, but I dream of butterflies and secret smiles. I dream of meeting someone who doesn’t sound the normal ‘tool’ alarms, but proves all my prejudice about men wrong. I dream of meeting someone who makes me feel like the below song ‘All about Us’ could happen to me and if that makes me a silly romantic girl then so be it. My fairytale dream might not exist, but it could someday and I think that’s worth waiting for…

Why Do People Hate...

Tomorrow is 9/11, a day I will forever hate. You can't turn on the TV without seeing something about that day. Those terrible hours where our nation had a front row seat to the hate in this world. Evil men commissioned to do an evil thing to an oblivious people. Before 9/11, terrorist attacks were something we saw in movies or on the news in Israel. I remember going to Israel in January 1999 and noticing all the crazy security they had everywhere. I asked our tour guide why so many people carried guns, as an American I found it unnerving. He said our homes are constantly under attack by evil men, so we make it clear we'll fight back to protect our home. After he said that, I felt strangely safer. As I returned to America I remember thanking God for protecting us from such desperate measures. Israel doesn't know a life without terror, I didn't know a life with terror...that is until 9/11. Everyone has a story of that day, this is mine.

At the age of 21, my eyes were sadly opened to terror on my home soil and I grew up. It was a beautiful day, I woke up early for my 9:15am science class. It was my senior year at Liberty University and I couldn't wait to be done. It was a big class of about 45 kids, all half asleep ready to get it over with. I got to class a few minutes early and noticed my friend Jon.
Now, my crazy friend Jon would always say the wackiest things, so as soon as he saw me he yelled across the room..'Mel, did you hear, one of the towers was hit'? Everyone always knew the towers meant NYC. My reply was something along the lines of...'Whatever, Jon'. The kid behind Jon said 'No, he's telling the truth..one of the towers was hit by a plane.' I heard then that it was a big commercial plane and my heart broke. Immediately, I thought of those terrified people on the plane and in the building. OH MY GOSH!! The people in the building...did they see it coming?! As my head was spinning a kid in our class ran in and said the other tower had been hit..it's a terrorist attack. I couldn't breath..I was in shock! I sat quietly in my chair as the kids around me talked about it, fighting back tears, the knot in my throat was almost unbearable. Repeating to myself...Breathe Melinda...Breathe...Hold it together. I never felt so helpless, so I silently prayed.
Class finally began...my professor a retired military man calmed the class with prayer for our country. He tried to begin class when a woman walked into the back of the room. She pulled the professor aside and spoke quietly into his ear. You could hear a pen drop in that big room. I don't think anyone took a breath. My tough military professor turned around and walked slowly to the front of the class, leaning on a table for support he said through choked words, "The Pentagon has been hit". With that statement 4 students got up and ran out of the room, their parents worked at the Pentagon. I sat in my seat quietly wiping the stray tear away from my cheek. How could someone hate us this much? I couldn't understand and I needed to understand why this happened. My professor dismissed us and I RAN to my next class early...it was a computer lab. As I sat beside an almost giddy from the excitement 'valley' girl, I rolled my eyes (per usual) and got onto CNN's live feed of the attack. As soon as I got on...one of the towers came down! With my mouth gaping open the tears quietly ran down my face in utter shock at what I just witnessed. It was nothing like the movies, my heart felt like it was going to pop out of my chest. Now, anyone who knows me knows I'm not an overly emotional girl. I keep my emotional side tightly in check. I have this overwhelming need to be strong at all time...a rock others can lean on. At that moment, my heart was broken for my neighbors. The 'valley' girl next to me still giddy noticed my tears and said, 'Oh..did you know someone who worked there?' I looked at her like she was the dumbest girl in the world cause at that moment she was and said, 'No! I didn't! We just saw 3,000 Americans die right in front of our eyes, so it kinda makes me a little sad.' Maybe I shouldn't of been so hard on her, but at that moment I needed her to understand the tragedy history was bestowing upon us. This wasn't a movie, this was the loss of our sense of security. Classes were dismissed for the rest of the day and I drove home to watch the endless coverage with my closest friends. After the shock wore off, anger set in. Like most, my Christian sensibilities were lost at the moment and I wanted blood. I wanted countries blown up...I wanted men tortured...I wanted all of them to burn in Hell. I hated them!


Now, I'm watching CNN 10 years later and they're talking about 9/11. The videos are back in repeat..the stories are retold...and I'm stuck with an old feeling I thought long ago gone....but something is different. I don't hate them anymore. I hate what they did, I hate the pain they caused, but personally I pity them. I pity people who live their lives to destroy others. What makes America so great is our ability to live peacefully with our neighbors who have opposing world views. We might scream and yell at each other from time to time, but we learn to work together in this great nation. For better or worse our differences make us stronger and wiser. I want so desperately to be a woman of wisdom. A woman not so overcome with a negative emotion she can't inspire what this world needs the most...LOVE. Love will destroy hate in every battle, every war and every conflict. I'm not suggesting we all hold hands with flowers in our hair singing Kumbaya, but I'm suggesting we don't let our differences keep us from loving each other. Love can change the hearts of nations. Love can transform the evilest of humanity. Love can forgive the unforgivable. So, as old emotional hurts are bought back to the surface this sad day let us remember..Love will always be our most powerful weapon against hate. So...in honor of the lost...let us Love each other this 9/11, and embrace the differences that make me so very proud to be an American. :-)

Prove You Wrong...

As a girl who has always had a lot of guy friends I’m use to hearing all their stories. I’m the shoulder they cry on, the sensitive ear they rely on, and their fiercest comrade if called on. I love all my guy friends. They’re all so different yet continue to teach me something every day. One thing I have learned is how sensitive they really are. They hide it well…well some do…but when it comes to being hurt by someone it stays with them. The older they get the higher their emotional walls go…the more hopeless they feel about Love. Now, I also have to say..most men have HORRIBLE taste in women which is why they get hurt so often when ‘trying’ to walk down the plank of love. They’re easily distracted by a pretty face, so distracted they can’t see a woman with poor character who cares far more about herself then the well being of the person she’s dating. So..what happens? Let me tell you…the girl dumps the boy in usually a very cold insensitive way and I’m in my car on my way to his house trying to think of ways to make him laugh or at least smile on an otherwise horrible day. I don’t understand girls like that. The damage they cause to these amazing guys is so hard to repair for the next girl. I’ve been thinking about that a lot lately, I think because I’m the Next Girl.

I’m the girl who’s constantly trying to prove to my guy friends that not ALL girls are superficial, selfish, and heartless. There are amazing women out there in the world who will love them fiercely and loyally if only given the chance. I love the song below ‘Prove You Wrong’…because it’s all about letting go of someone not worth holding onto, so you can find someone who is. So girls…be kind to the Good Ones (you know who they are) and guys…attraction is important, but character needs to be your non-negotiable in dating. I promise a woman of character is far more valuable than a selfish trophy. ;-)